FAST – Interpersonal Effectiveness DBT Tool

FAST Skill

Definition

FAST is a DBT skill set focused on maintaining your self-respect effectiveness during interpersonal interactions. The acronym stands for:

  • Fair
  • Apologies (limited)
  • Stick to values
  • Truthful

It helps you stand up for yourself, communicate clearly, and keep your integrity even under pressure.

Purpose

Used to:

  • Maintain self-respect in difficult conversations.
  • Avoid compromising your values to please others.
  • Reduce guilt and resentment that arise from ignoring your needs.
  • Communicate assertively without aggression or passivity.

When to Use

Use FAST when:

  • You are tempted to compromise your principles to avoid conflict.
  • You are setting a boundary.
  • You feel pressured to apologize unnecessarily.
  • You need to remain true to yourself in a disagreement.
  • You want to ensure you respect yourself after the interaction.

When Not to Use

Avoid using if:

  • The interaction requires compromise for safety or crisis resolution.
  • You are emotionally dysregulated (use distress tolerance first).
  • The context is purely about relationship repair (consider GIVE).

How-To

1. F – Be Fair

  • Be fair to yourself and the other person.
  • Acknowledge your feelings and theirs.

2. A – No Apologies (or limit them)

  • Don’t over-apologize for existing, having needs, or disagreeing.
  • Apologize only when appropriate.

3. S – Stick to Your Values

  • Stay committed to your principles.
  • Do not sell out your beliefs to gain approval.

4. T – Be Truthful

  • Don’t exaggerate, lie, or make excuses.
  • Be honest about what you think and feel.

Tips & Variations

  • Practice using a calm, confident tone.
  • Combine FAST with DEAR MAN if you need both assertiveness and self-respect.
  • Role-play situations where you tend to give in.
  • Use reminders (e.g., sticky notes with "FAST") before conversations.

Example

Scenario: Your friend wants you to lend them money you’re uncomfortable parting with.

  • Fair: “I know this is stressful for you, and I also have to take care of my own expenses.”
  • Apologies: “I’m sorry, but I can’t” (one genuine apology, not repeated).
  • Stick to Values: “It’s important to me to stay financially stable.”
  • Truthful: “I don’t feel comfortable lending money right now.”

Inventor / Origin

Created by Marsha Linehan, PhD, as part of Dialectical Behavior Therapy to help individuals preserve self-respect during interpersonal exchanges.

Related Skills

  • DEAR MAN (assertiveness)
  • GIVE (relationship effectiveness)
  • Radical Acceptance
  • Mindfulness

Limitations

May not be effective if:

  • Safety is at risk.
  • The situation requires urgent compromise.
  • The other person is not receptive to assertive communication.

Evidence Base

Research shows:

  • FAST increases assertiveness and reduces resentment.
  • Helps individuals with BPD maintain boundaries.
  • Improves self-esteem by aligning actions with values.

Further Reading

References

  • Linehan, M.M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual, Second Edition. Guilford Press.
  • Bohus, M., & Wolf-Arehult, M. (2019). Interpersonal Skills for Emotion Regulation. Hogrefe Publishing.
  • Fruzzetti, A.E. (2006). The High Conflict Couple. New Harbinger Publications.

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