STOP – Distress Tolerance DBT Tool

STOP Skill

Definition

STOP is a Distress Tolerance skill used to pause before reacting impulsively, especially when you are emotionally triggered. The acronym stands for:

  • S: Stop
  • T: Take a step back
  • O: Observe
  • P: Proceed mindfully

Purpose

Used to:

  • Prevent impulsive actions that worsen a situation.
  • Ground yourself in the present moment.
  • Respond effectively rather than reacting emotionally.
  • Maintain self-respect and align actions with your goals.

When to Use

Use the STOP skill when:

  • You feel strong urges to act impulsively.
  • You are about to say or do something you might regret.
  • You are overwhelmed by intense emotions.
  • You need to buy time to think clearly.

When Not to Use

Avoid using STOP if:

  • You are in immediate physical danger that requires rapid action.
  • Pausing could lead to greater harm.
  • You are avoiding necessary assertive action.

How-To

  1. S — Stop.
    Freeze. Do not move a muscle. Don’t react. Just stop.

  2. T — Take a step back.
    Take a deep breath. Remove yourself mentally or physically from the situation if needed.

  3. O — Observe.
    Notice what’s happening inside and around you.

    • What thoughts are showing up?
    • What urges do you feel?
    • What sensations are in your body?

  4. P — Proceed mindfully.
    Decide how you want to act. Consider your Wise Mind, your goals, and what will be effective.

Tips & Variations

  • Practice STOP in less intense situations to build the skill.
  • Pair STOP with paced breathing or grounding exercises.
  • Use a visual reminder (e.g., a STOP sign image on your phone).
  • If you can’t remember all steps, simply pausing and breathing can help.

Example

Alex received a text that made them angry and wanted to immediately reply with insults. Instead, they:

  • S: Stopped and didn’t type.
  • T: Took a deep breath and set their phone down.
  • O: Observed their racing heart and clenched jaw.
  • P: Chose to wait 10 minutes before deciding how to respond.

Inventor / Origin

STOP is part of the Distress Tolerance skills module in DBT, created by Marsha M. Linehan, PhD. It integrates principles from mindfulness and crisis survival strategies.

Related Skills

  • Wise Mind
  • TIPP Skills
  • Pros and Cons
  • Mindfulness of Current Emotion

Limitations

May not be effective if:

  • You repeatedly use STOP to avoid addressing problems.
  • You are in a situation requiring immediate safety action.
  • You don’t practice the skill in lower-stakes moments first.

Evidence Base

Research shows the STOP skill:

  • Reduces impulsive behavior.
  • Supports emotional regulation.
  • Improves crisis management.
  • Increases sense of control during distress.

Further Reading

References

  • Linehan, M.M. (1993). Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. New York: Guilford Press.
  • Linehan, M.M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual, Second Edition. New York: Guilford Press.

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